Wrap Up, Tease & Rant.
So here’s what we’re going to do: I’m going to wrap up Part 1 of my series on Influence this week – next week we’ll break to discuss something else, and give you time to process this weeks ramblings (I’ve already had 4 people mailing me telling me of their brain-melt at the concept of always being in an altered state). So to wrap this up I’ll give you a hint of where I’m taking this and a little peep at where this will end up. I’m probably giving too much away at this point – for many of you at least – but it will get you hooked and give you time to get your heads around it all. You’ll thank me for it.
In a number of ways, learning communication, NLP, hypnosis etc, is a lot like learning maths or physics. The main difference, however, is that once people have studied maths at school and thrown their books away upon leaving, they don’t tell their friends 20 years later that they’ve been studying maths for the last 2 decades.
This is something you find in hypnosis and NLP far far too often. Somebody attends a training in 1999, spends their time doing the same old swish patterns/visual squashes/reframes/anchoring afterwards. They don’t continue their training in any way, barely look at an NLP book, most importantly they never think about experimenting or getting creative – never get anywhere near exploring the limits of NLP… And still they tell you they’ve been practicing for 10 years. Give me a break.
Sorry. Rant over.
Anyhoo, the similarities between studying NLP and maths/physics etc, (And Martial Arts now that I think of it) is that when you first start out you learn a load of laws, formulas and equations (Excuse the over simplification) and you pass your exam. You then move on to a more advanced level of study, and you’re basically told “All the stuff you learned? Well… It’s correct. Kinda. But really, it’s more like this…” and then they take you to a whole new world of discovery. It’s not that you’ve been lied to – just that you’ve been given a “Broad brushstroke” description that will match you level of understanding and prepare you for the more advanced work.
Later, if you have the kind of patience and mind to do so, you go even further. Again you’re told “All that stuff you’ve been doing? It’s all well and good – and it’s definitely not wrong… but it’s really more like this…” And away you go again.
And if you’ve been studying physics, someone then comes along with Quantum Theory and turns your entire reality on it’s head. “Non-locality of information” indeed.
So NLP, trance and persuasion is the same – and this is why those guys who studied NLP and have yet to get around to leaving the classroom bug me so. Just about anyone who has studied sales or interview techniques has had exposure to NLP concepts like “Rapport”, “Mirroring and Pacing” etc. In a nutshell, if you match someone’s postures, gestures, speech patterns etc, you will achieve a level of familiarity with the person you’re trying to sell to. They will find themselves liking you and more willing to spend money with you/believe you.
This is correct. Kinda. But really, it’s more like… well more like what we’ve got coming up.
Used properly, a basic skill level (Or “Horse shit NLP” as Tom Vizzini calls it) will work fine for you. It’s an important foundation, and for those of you with no idea about conversational hypnosis, influence etc, you need to have a good handle on those base skills before moving on to the real stuff. So that’s what we’re going to do: We’ll steam through the horse shit NLP (And maybe clean some of it up along the way) and get to the interesting, cool, fun and useful technique. The end goal? This is the bit you’ll need to chew on…
If there’s no such thing as a “baseline” level of consciousness, by definition we’re always in an altered state. Or to put it more succinctly, trance. We spend our lives travelling from one trance to another – a TV trance, a reading trance, a shopping trance, an “I can’t believe I’m having this argument with my boyfriend again” trance… and so on.
What if you knew how someone “did” their various trances? How about if you, armed with that knowledge, could lead them into their fascinated trance, their shopping trance, or their trust trance? Or what if you could visit someone in their trance and lead them into yours? How useful would that be to someone looking for change, or aiming to influence? Oh yes.
Just asking yourself those questions, and developing a deeper understanding of trance as a continuous everyday phenomenon puts you ahead of 99% of the so-called “experts” that your company inflicts upon you for your sales/negotiation/interview skills training.
I’m going to recommend Monsters & Magical Sticks again, especially if you work with kids or if you’re a parent. You would be shocked at the hypnotic commands you’re using every day – and to great effect I may add. There’s a reason why it’s required reading for all of my students.
Oh, I haven’t forgotten about Napoleon! That’s coming up next – and monday will be your chance to get your hands on an amazing hypnotic resource. I mean genuinely life changing. New Year coming up, this would be the perfect tool to help turn 2010 into the most successful year of your life!
Moving on…
PS – You need to check out Tom Vizzini’s site. That guy is a god!
PPS – What I said earlier about NLP practitioners who are “trapped in the classroom” – this doesn’t make them any less qualified as therapists, they may be very capable. It just means they’re boring and missing out. And lazy.
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